Yesterday, I had a melt-down on the way to the gynecologist's office.
I don't own, nor want, a GPS duck-taped to my car’s dashboard. When trying to locate a place, I go out to Bing or Google for directions and, if need be, print them. I even look at, and prefer using, an ancient document called a map, which is as scarce as hen's teeth these days. A map? Who uses a map? Well, I do.
Anyway, my gynecologist has three office locations and I have never been to this location. I leave at 1:00 p.m. giving myself plenty of time to get lost and still get there on time. Well, get lost I d0 . . . in a big way!
It’s 40 minutes before my appointment and I pull off the road to call the office and get directions. Guess what I get? A menu and after making a selection, I'm immediately bounced into voice mail!!!!! I hang up and a few minutes later try again getting the same response. Over the years, I've learned hitting “0” (zero) will usually get me a body. This time it dosen't work as a disembodied voice announces, "the operator is not available at this time." How can this be? Operators are always there!
What to do? So I dial again hitting the number for "emergencies." Finally, an actual person!!!! The first words out of my mouth are, "This is not an emergency but I have a 2:15 appt. and I'm lost. Can someone please give me directions?" I’m put on hold while they try to find someone to deal with the crazy lady at the other end of their emergency line. Many seconds pass and I'm thinking they either forgot me or they're giving me time to cool off. Then a friendly voice picks up and gives me great directions.
But my ordeal isn't over yet!!! Route 309 is a heavily traveled road at all times of the day and there is still construction! Where isn’t there construction or “road closed” signs these days, especially where I live. The road narrows and I am forced into a single lane cattle-shoot of Blaze orange highway cones when I look in the rearview mirror to see an idiot (not the word I really want to use) in a Jeep Wrangler literally on my bumper. My blood pressure is still at warp level and is rising rapidly.
I think to myself, I am so tired of aggressive, rude and ignorant drivers. So I slow down. He can't pass me as we're in a cattle-shoot. But when I finally manage to move over to let his Royal Idiot-ness pass, I raise my finger in the universal, ubiquitous salute. Not once, not twice but as many times as I can until he's out of sight. I know very childish and equally as rude no doubt and all the while thinking, one of these days that salute is going to get me in some major trouble or dead. Doing the salute is not something I engage in but there are times when I’m pushed beyond my limit and this was one of those times. I know I’m rationalizing.
My blood pressure is reaching critical levels and I say to myself, This is just great! When the nurse takes my blood pressure it's going to be through the roof! So I start “breathe-ing” as my friend Se’Lah often says to me and incredibly find myself calming down rather quickly. It’s all that yoga and breathing I do, I’m sure of it.
I make it to the doctor’s office on time and the god's are with me because the office is patient free. Usually, his offices are always a sea of pregnant women and I have to wait until he wades through most of them before I get to see him. Not a problem. I was pregnant once and know how uncomfortable it can be.
The nurse takes my blood pressure and it's 170 over 55. That doesn’t sound too bad. (Since writing this post I've learned normal/good BP is 120 over 80. So 170 over 55 is high!!!)
In the end everything turns out well. On my way home, I get lost for 5 minutes but arrive home without any further travel or harrassing drivers issues.
After all this, I now have good directions to this office and the best time to make an appointment for next year, which I’m going to mark down in my datebook as soon as I can find it!!! Yes, a datebook an actual book with calendar pages in it. But then I’ll have to leave myself another note in the very same datebook to indicate where I’ve filed the directions as I’ll never remember them, nor where I put them, by next year.
Hope you’re all having a good day.